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MadaraUchiha
Akatsuki

I agree with Burnsy. You can't just say 'i can't ask for help'. You can't mention you attempted suicide just like that.. Get therapy. Immediately. It's also illegal(imprisonment is a possibility), so be careful what you mention.

" Justice is subject to dispute; might is easily recognized and is not disputed. So we cannot give might to justice, because might has gainsaid justice, and has declared that it is she herself who is just. And thus, being unable to make what is just strong, we have made what is strong just."
Reply
Davis
NBF member

(12-21-2017, 01:08 PM)Claraviolet Wrote: I am an Indian. I can't actually ask for help. I hate touching men. I wash hands after giving a handshake at least twice. I just hate so this and my mom she arranged everything without me knowing anything about it and it's really hard for me. 

She didn't understand when I said I hate being touched by men and all. She is just afraid of my future and I don't get what she means.
Sucks i really don't want to meet any of you guys and I hope you don't judge me after hearing this



Hi Clara,

As you know I'm a pretty straightforward guy I have known you for some time now and I hope you will appreciate what I have to say.

I'm sorry to hear that you felt this way and it came to the point where you thought this was the best solution.
I can't 100% imagine what you might be going through as I have not gone through this myself.

I happy for you to talk to me more if you want to. But I would suggest speaking to someone who you are close with as I'm sure they will know you and the situation better than we do. alternatively I'm sure you can speak to a 3rd party, helpline as mentioned or maybe some sort of specialist if you would prefer face to face.
I'm sure they will be able to go through all the options in more detail as this is their job.

Do not see this as a bad thing, I know many people that have seen therapists for various reasons. it's always good to talk to people. if you feel you can't talk to friends or family this is the best solution trust me 100%

I do not know you personally, so I do not know who the best person might be to talk to if it's not someone close then follow the advice I have given you above.

do not feel that you are alone cause you are not and people will always be there to help you. family or not.

Regards to you being "Indian" I do not care where you are born and who you are, everyone can ask for help. do you think you are too good to ask for help?

Please don't be so stupid and think like that, ok?

I'm quite confident that this is not the case and I suggest you reconsider this and ask for help if you cannot talk to anyone. I do not see anything wrong with asking help.

Sure you might want to do it all alone,  but sometimes in life, you just can't do it yourself, this is when you need to know that theirs nothing wrong with asking for help.

It's completely natural. I'm sure everyone at some point has done this.


I can understand some people may not like to be touched that's fine, but I do find this a little extreme, why is that you do not like this so much?

has something happened in the past for you to feel like this, everytime you make an interaction with a Male?

I'm not saying you should feel something good or bad, I see this as something that just happens in day to day life, it's just another way of saying "hi"

If it has come to the point where you hate it so much I would suggest trying to find out what the cause is, unless you already know then do tell me.

We can carry on with this conversation.

In regards to your Mariage, I have never thought it is right, but I do respect that its part of their culture and that is how it is.

But I also think that everyone can make their own choices.

If both people do not approve of Mariage then don't do it.

I understand your family wants the best for you, they want you to have a family, I'm sure they want grandchildren.

That is also fine, but if you do not agree with them that is fine. you are you and do not let other people make this kind of decisions for you.

I'm not sure what you have said to your mum, but I would suggest you make it clear how you feel about this.

If they don't understand but still proceed, maybe speak to all party's involved and make sure everyone understands how you feel.

end of the day you can't be physically forced to do anything against your own will.

I understand that it may not feel right for you to defy your parents, but if you don't agree with them make sure they know about it.

I'm not a profesional, my way may not be the best way, but I hope that you can take a few things from me.

Suicide is not the best option, you are not the only person who will be affected, everyone that knows you will also suffer.

This is something you want to avoid. the other thing is, don't be afraid to stand your ground and if you aren't getting anywhere then speak to a helpline or a professional.

They will be able to help you, its their job to help people do not think you cannot ask for help. you can!!



Hope this helps you in your current situation.

(This post was last modified: 12-22-2017, 04:51 AM by Davis.)

Reply
Tyrant
NBF member

(12-20-2017, 01:24 PM)Claraviolet Wrote: Looks like my suicide attempt didn't work. I don't want to get engaged.

Then pleasee don't.

You make your own decisions but let me tell you that killing yourself is never the solution.

And yes, talking about it helps, so maybe try that, please?

Reply
KuranKaname
Pirate

Many people cares about you here. So don't do anything stupid. You could always break off things if you don't like them

Reply
Claraviolet
Akatsuki

(12-22-2017, 03:49 PM)Tyrant Wrote: Then pleasee don't.

You make your own decisions but let me tell you that killing yourself is never the solution.

And yes, talking about it helps, so maybe try that, please?

Yeah but when we got pushed into a corner we couldn't see any other solution. I have talked to my family but I highly doubt they are gonna listen to anything anymore

(12-21-2017, 09:42 PM)Elvis Wrote: Didn't you say your mother loves you? How can she force you into doing something you don't want to do if she loves you? Just say no and that's it. If she doesn't want to accept your decision, cut all contact with her.

Yeah and she believes that she is taking care of me. I could never live without her. So cutting any contact with her is another way of killing myself

(12-22-2017, 03:39 AM)BurnsyCEO Wrote: You need to get therapy. You should realize you have many issues that aren't normal and you can't live your life with them. If it helps you get to live your full life happy and normally it's worth whatever amount of money they charge. This is not some passing suggestion but something you DESPERATELY fucking need.

I am taking counseling sessions but I highly doubt they can help me at this point

(12-22-2017, 04:21 AM)MadaraUchiha Wrote: I agree with Burnsy. You can't just say 'i can't ask for help'. You can't mention you attempted suicide just like that.. Get therapy. Immediately. It's also illegal(imprisonment is a possibility), so be careful what you mention.

I know but I couldn't take it. Even now I am thinking of finding a way to end things my way

(12-22-2017, 04:35 AM)Davis Wrote: Hi Clara,

As you know I'm a pretty straightforward guy I have known you for some time now and I hope you will appreciate what I have to say.

I'm sorry to hear that you felt this way and it came to the point where you thought this was the best solution.
I can't 100% imagine what you might be going through as I have not gone through this myself.

I happy for you to talk to me more if you want to. But I would suggest speaking to someone who you are close with as I'm sure they will know you and the situation better than we do. alternatively I'm sure you can speak to a 3rd party, helpline as mentioned or maybe some sort of specialist if you would prefer face to face.
I'm sure they will be able to go through all the options in more detail as this is their job.

Do not see this as a bad thing, I know many people that have seen therapists for various reasons. it's always good to talk to people. if you feel you can't talk to friends or family this is the best solution trust me 100%

I do not know you personally, so I do not know who the best person might be to talk to if it's not someone close then follow the advice I have given you above.

do not feel that you are alone cause you are not and people will always be there to help you. family or not.

Regards to you being "Indian" I do not care where you are born and who you are, everyone can ask for help. do you think you are too good to ask for help?

Please don't be so stupid and think like that, ok?

I'm quite confident that this is not the case and I suggest you reconsider this and ask for help if you cannot talk to anyone. I do not see anything wrong with asking help.

Sure you might want to do it all alone,  but sometimes in life, you just can't do it yourself, this is when you need to know that theirs nothing wrong with asking for help.

It's completely natural. I'm sure everyone at some point has done this.


I can understand some people may not like to be touched that's fine, but I do find this a little extreme, why is that you do not like this so much?

has something happened in the past for you to feel like this, everytime you make an interaction with a Male?

I'm not saying you should feel something good or bad, I see this as something that just happens in day to day life, it's just another way of saying "hi"

If it has come to the point where you hate it so much I would suggest trying to find out what the cause is, unless you already know then do tell me.

We can carry on with this conversation.

In regards to your Mariage, I have never thought it is right, but I do respect that its part of their culture and that is how it is.

But I also think that everyone can make their own choices.

If both people do not approve of Mariage then don't do it.

I understand your family wants the best for you, they want you to have a family, I'm sure they want grandchildren.

That is also fine, but if you do not agree with them that is fine. you are you and do not let other people make this kind of decisions for you.

I'm not sure what you have said to your mum, but I would suggest you make it clear how you feel about this.

If they don't understand but still proceed, maybe speak to all party's involved and make sure everyone understands how you feel.

end of the day you can't be physically forced to do anything against your own will.

I understand that it may not feel right for you to defy your parents, but if you don't agree with them make sure they know about it.

I'm not a profesional, my way may not be the best way, but I hope that you can take a few things from me.

Suicide is not the best option, you are not the only person who will be affected, everyone that knows you will also suffer.

This is something you want to avoid. the other thing is, don't be afraid to stand your ground and if you aren't getting anywhere then speak to a helpline or a professional.

They will be able to help you, its their job to help people do not think you cannot ask for help. you can!!



Hope this helps you in your current situation.

Thank you Davis.
I have tried talking to my family but they wouldn't listen and my mom. Believe I am acting like a teenager and... Damn I can't believe my life. I have been thinking of going back to my hometown and be with my mom but now she wanted to marry me off.

Is being single a crime? Wanting to live with your birth family is not illegal damn it....
My family threatened me that they would commit suicide....

@Everyone I got engaged. I told him I don't like the prospect of getting married. 
I hate when my mom. Says that I am destroying her life.


...
I got two months left to convince my family. If I couldn't do that, then I don't have any choices left

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TechnicalSuwako
Suicide is not a solution to your problems, it's giving in to those.
To solve problems, you need to tackle those.

If you commit suicide, you might escape from your problems, but at the same time you'll create countless of problems to the people around you.
This too is something to consider.

ケロケロ。
Reply
Claraviolet
Akatsuki

(12-25-2017, 06:25 PM)TechnicalSuwako Wrote: Suicide is not a solution to your problems, it's giving in to those.
To solve problems, you need to tackle those.

If you commit suicide, you might escape from your problems, but at the same time you'll create countless of problems to the people around you.
This too is something to consider.

Well, your username is familiar. Anyway, welcome to the forum. 
As for your advice, I have tried. I have yelled at them, begged, cried, threatened... So far they didn't budge.
I can't ruin anyone's life and I can't do what they want either.. so....I don't know what I can do anymore

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TechnicalSuwako
Those are no solutions either.
Other people might either understand you or bully you.
And any new person won't know at all.

Instead of changing billions of people worldwide, you'll need to change yourself in order to solve the being touched by men problem.
It can be hard, and I know that because I used to hate it when people made lots of noise higher than 5 dB or solith.
But all I did was getting accustomed to that and slowly raising my boundries to further heights, until I had no issues with that at all any more.

ケロケロ。
Reply
Elvis
Rouge pirate

(12-25-2017, 04:02 PM)Claraviolet Wrote: @Everyone I got engaged.

Oh man, you're lucky. I wish my mom arranged a marriage for me.  Blush

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Claraviolet
Akatsuki

(12-25-2017, 07:08 PM)TechnicalSuwako Wrote: Those are no solutions either.
Other people might either understand you or bully you.
And any new person won't know at all.

Instead of changing billions of people worldwide, you'll need to change yourself in order to solve the being touched by men problem.
It can be hard, and I know that because I used to hate it when people made lots of noise higher than 5 dB or solith.
But all I did was getting accustomed to that and slowly raising my boundries to further heights, until I had no issues with that at all any more.

It's easier said than done. I have been trying but so far nothing worked. I am losing hope and now I don't have any hope left
(12-25-2017, 07:21 PM)Elvis Wrote: Oh man, you're lucky. I wish my mom arranged a marriage for me.  Blush
I would rather die than marry someone. Believe me you ate lucky. Not me

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